Lauren Chan's path to celebrating her lesbian identity wasn't always smooth or quick. And yet, the 34-year-old model just made queer history as the first out lesbian to appear on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
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Chan, a former fashion editor at Glamour who started her own plus-size clothing company named Henning, made history starring on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, even though her gay awakening is relatively recent.
Just a few years ago, Chan was married to a man. Now, she's been inspiring others to feel proud about their own lesbian identities.
Lauren ChanMyrthe (provided)
Chan came out in an essay for Vogue that ran alongside her first Swimsuit Issue appearance (not as a cover star yet!) in 2023.
"Until I started therapy in my 30s, there was no convincing evidence that I had been mistaken," she wrote on the publication. "There, I learned how to be mindful, feel my feelings, and have emotional breakthroughs. I went over my memories with a fine-tooth comb, and found aha moments that had been easy to overlook. (Think: being very into queer-coded TV characters like Xena, warrior princess; making Katy Perry’s 'I Kissed a Girl' my MySpace song; being the unofficial president of the Daria Werbowy fan club. Aha.)"
Chan grew up wanting to fit in and do what she was supposed to do, prompting her to take the path of least resistance, which meant being straight. And then the COVID-19 pandemic, and subsequent lockdown, hit.
Lauren ChanMyrthe (provided)
"When the pandemic happened, I was not doing physically a lot. I was in therapy a lot," Chan says. "And I started to have time and space to think about who I am and what I want. How the world might be different and how I could be different. And so after over a year of trying to understand who I was, I realized that I was a lesbian."
"I consider my pride hard fought, and that's why I'm so outspoken about it," she adds.
Chan proves that no matter when in life you figure out who you are, it's never too late to embrace it. By being vocal and proud in such a public spotlight, she's showing other people they can be like her — something she wishes she had while growing up.
"I very much believe in the power of representation, and the colloquialism that if you can see it, you can be it," Chan says. "And so that's why when I have opportunities like this, being on the cover, being in the magazine, I try to make them exactly what I would've needed when I was younger."
Lauren ChanMyrthe (provided)
Other celebrities championing their identities have also made it easier for Chan to feel proud of labeling herself a lesbian.
"You know, Reneé Rapp changed my brain chemistry," Chan says. "When I saw her at the GLAAD Awards get on stage and call herself a lesbian as she was accepting her award… Truly, until that moment, I was not completely comfortable with it."
She explains, "You could still see in the press from my rookie year, when I, in fact, was the first out lesbian rookie, I softened the language. All the press actually says, 'First queer plus size rookie.'"
"So it's been a really wonderful few years being out, getting to know myself, learning how to celebrate that in its entirety and be entrenched in community," Chan continues. "And now I will burn a bra at any chance I get. I'm so proud to call myself a lesbian. And it's not that I regret not arriving at that pride sooner. I can appreciate the journey, and I want to be somebody else's Reneé Rapp."
Chan also says that being in queer and lesbian spaces has changed the way she sees herself.
"I will say that being in the female gaze, and being in community with queer folks, has healed the last lingering ugliness of my body image. And when I was able to ditch the male gaze, I flipped my attraction to women on its head in my mind. And I realized that when I look at other women, I would never deem somebody 'unattractive' for not meeting the 'beauty ideal.'"
She observes, "If I put that logic on myself, I feel comfortable, and I feel attractive, and I feel confident."
